Lately I've been thinking a lot about community, probably because I am moving into a house that is self-proclaimedly an "intentional community." My friend Rob bought a 7-bedroom parsonage and is fixing it up and having people who are serious about community rent out the rooms. We are aptly calling it "The Parsonage." I've always kind of taken for granted what "intentional community" means, but this is pretty much how conversations with people outside of Circle of Hope (or just outside progressive Christian circles in general) go:
Person who I probably haven't talked to in awhile: So what are you doing? Are you working?
Moi: Yeah, I'm living with my parents and working at a halfway house in Mount Holly right now. But I just got a full-time job as a counselor for homeless people at a drop in center in Camden and I'm moving in with a bunch of people from my church into intentional community.
Person: Wow, that sounds interesting. What's intentional community?
Moi: Ummm....well....we're going to have a sliding scale of rent and, like....eat dinners together once a week and stuff.
To me, explaining to someone what intentional community is is like trying to define the word "creative." Everyone just kind of has a general idea of what it means and is never in a position where they have to define it to someone else.
Really, what makes this community that I'm moving into "intentional?" The fact that we set aside time to be with each other? My dear roommate in college and I did that, but I don't think we'd call each other "intentional roommates." Is it because there are a lot of us who are choosing to live together? A family does that (though admittedly, it's expected of a family). Is it because we throw around the word "love" a lot? Because that's what anyone who's moving into the house will say. "We're trying to love each other." But how is that different than a church, or a cell, or a family, or a commune?
I don't have an answer. I do know what makes our house different than what people would think of a typical group of twenty-somethings living together. For one thing, we're not all going to be paying the same rent. Those who make less money will pay less every month and just pick up extra chores to compensate. We like this idea because then if someone really wants to live in community but can't afford the base rent, they're not automatically shut out. Secondly, we're going to have one person cook for everyone else once a week and share a meal together while talking about house business. Also, we're big on accountability and confrontation...no passive-agressiveness allowed.
But mostly, when we talk about what we want this house to be, we talk about loving each other. Love is a term that gets thrown around a lot, and "loving each other" and "doing something in love" aren't used sparingly, either. All I know, and maybe all I need to know, is that we have Jesus as our example. If anyone was intentional about loving people, it's him. He did it through words and actions alike, and not only did he personify love with his life, but he also gave us instructions on how to live a life of love.
My uber-wise cell leader and dear friend Bryce said something to this effect last Thursday at cell: if we're just meeting together and doing these things but not doing them with a spirit of sacrifice and love, then what the hell are we doing them for? He said he'd rather see us disband then to meet together for one more minute if we're not doing this "life together" thing out of a love for God and each other, and I agree with him.
If, in our house, we're just a bunch of people going through life selfishly and never thinking of each other or taking the time to love each other, then what's the point? Why not live somewhere nicer, safer, less crowded, etc.? But life isn't meant to be lived alone; we're not meant to go through our days without getting our hands dirty in the lives of others. So that's what we're doing--getting our hands dirty. And I'm excited about it.
Kat, that sounds awesome. To me, it is simply "doing life" and living the way Jesus would want--by being invested in other people. It is BEING the church rather than making church be a building.
ReplyDeleteOh, and don't worry about "neglecting" your blog. It's there when you need to write something and that's that. I write on mine so sporadically.
ReplyDelete"life isn't meant to be lived alone" -- so true! I like the image of getting our hands dirty. It isn't easy, but God teaches us so much through each other.
ReplyDeletefinally a post - and here i was considering taking this off my favorites bar. that would have been mean but justified! anyway...sounds like some exciting times. ill have to pay a visit if i ever come back to new jersey...
ReplyDeleteaka from jarrett
ReplyDeleteKat, dear Kat...
ReplyDeleteI know it takes me forever to comment after you post - even though I bug you to write. :)
That being said, I've thought about this post a lot since I first read it.
Intentional community is a family. You are creating a family with a group of people - this is not too different from a marriage or raising children in my experience - though I suppose it's all in how you look at it.
I believe it is imperative to learn to love each member as you would a spouse or a child.
I try to respect my spouse and my children like I would any other human being, to not take advantage of their labels. (Husband, children...)
I feel a migraine coming on - sorry to cut out so abruptly - I wonder if you can see where I am going with this?